Wedding Planning — Dependency Chain#

Dan & Cayce's wedding. Target: fall 2027 (date not yet locked). Scale: 100–200 guests. This doc maps what blocks what, so planning energy goes to the things on the critical path instead of the things that merely feel urgent.

How to read this doc#

Phases are ordered by dependency, not by effort. A later phase can't start (or can't finish) until the earlier one is locked. Within a phase, items are mostly parallel. The single most important idea: venue + date is the root node — almost nothing downstream can be booked until it's locked, so getting there quickly matters more than getting anything else perfect.

Phase 0 — Three interlocked decisions (now → late summer 2026)#

These three can't be finalized independently — each constrains the other two. Iterate the triangle until it's stable; it doesn't need to be perfect, it needs to be bounded.

1. Vision conversation (you + Cayce, no laptop needed): What region/city? Indoor or outdoor? Formal or relaxed? Big dance party or long dinner? Any non-negotiables? The output is a one-paragraph shared picture.
2. Guest list first draft: A real names-in-a-spreadsheet draft, not a vibe. You said 100–200 — narrowing that to ±20 matters enormously, because it sets the venue capacity floor and is the biggest multiplier in the budget.
3. Budget ceiling: See the companion doc budget. You don't need a final number — you need a "we will not cross this" line, because venue shopping without one wastes weekends.

Phase 1 — Venue + date: the lock (target: booked by fall 2026)#

The venue is the only vendor that fixes the date, the capacity, the region, and a huge share of the budget all at once. Booking it converts "fall 2027 sometime" into a real date, which is what every other vendor needs to hear before they'll take your deposit.

• Shortlist 4–6 venues that fit capacity + region + ceiling, tour them, book one.
• Fall is peak season — desirable fall-2027 Saturdays at popular venues start disappearing 12–15 months out, i.e., from roughly this summer onward. This is why Phase 0 has a deadline.
• Flexibility lever: if a venue you love is taken or pricey on Saturdays, Friday/Sunday dates are often meaningfully cheaper and more available.
• Output of this phase: date locked, capacity locked, largest budget line committed.

Phase 2 — One-per-date vendors (book 10–12+ months out: winter 2026–27)#

These vendors take exactly one wedding per date, so they sell out date-by-date. Once the date is locked, book them in roughly this order of scarcity:

• Photographer (and videographer if you want one) — the good ones book furthest out.
• Caterer — only if the venue doesn't include catering; if it does, this collapses into Phase 1.
• Music — band or DJ. Bands book further out than DJs.
• Officiant — personal friend or professional; decide early, book either way.
• Planner/coordinator decision — at 100–200 guests, at minimum a day-of coordinator is strongly recommended; if you want a full planner, hire them before the rest of Phase 2 so they can help with it.

Phase 3 — The middle tier (6–10 months out: spring 2027)#

Parallel workstreams, none blocking each other, all blocked by the date:

• Attire — the sneaky long pole: made-to-order wedding dresses commonly take 6–9 months plus 2 months of alterations. Dress shopping should start ~10–12 months out (early 2027). Suits/other attire are much faster (3–4 months).
• Save-the-dates — send 8–10 months out for a wedding guests must travel to. Requires: date, venue, guest mailing addresses (start collecting addresses early; it's tedious).
• Wedding website + registry — unblocks save-the-dates having somewhere to point.
• Hotel room blocks — needed before save-the-dates go out if many guests travel.
• Florist, cake, hair/makeup (book trial), transportation, rentals — standard bookings, comfortable at 6–8 months.
• Wedding party asks — whenever it feels right, but before attire coordination.

Phase 4 — The paper chain (the only truly serial part)#

This chain cannot be parallelized and has hard dates — work backward from the wedding:

1. Invitations out ~10–12 weeks before →
2. RSVP deadline ~4–6 weeks before →
3. Final headcount →
4. Unblocks: final catering count, seating chart, place cards, favors count, final venue layout.

Late RSVPs are universal; build a one-week chase buffer between the RSVP deadline and when the caterer needs the number.

Phase 5 — Final eight weeks#

• Marriage license — state-specific: most licenses are only valid for 30–90 days after issue, so this can't be done early. Look up the rules for the ceremony state and calendar it.
• Final venue walkthrough; day-of timeline written and sent to every vendor.
• Final payments scheduled (most vendor balances are due 2–4 weeks out).
• Rings purchased/sized (don't leave past 2 months out), vows, rehearsal dinner plan, seating chart (blocked by Phase 4).

The critical path#

Guest list draft → venue + date locked → photographer/caterer booked → save-the-dates → dress ordered → invitations → RSVP deadline → final headcount → seating/catering finals. Everything not on this list has slack. When time is short, protect the path; let the slack items slip.

Mapped to the calendar (assuming fall 2027)#

• Summer 2026 (now): Phase 0 triangle + venue tours.
• Fall 2026: Venue booked — date locked.
• Winter 2026–27: Phase 2 one-per-date vendors.
• Early spring 2027: Dress shopping starts; website + address collection.
• Late spring 2027: Save-the-dates out; Phase 3 bookings.
• Summer 2027: Invitations out (~July–Aug for an Oct date); fittings; trials.
• Fall 2027: Phase 4 cascade + Phase 5 + get married. 🎉

Open questions#

• Region/city Answered 2026-06-10: home base is Charlotte, NC. Wedding either Charlotte area or NC coast (Outer Banks / coastal) — narrowing this is now part of the venue decision.
• The fork: rent a venue vs. buy land and wed on it — Dan & Cayce also dream of building/operating a wedding venue someday. Framed as a real decision with a gate in venue-vs-land. Decision deadline: ~September 2026 (it blocks the venue booking, which is the root node).
• Date window within fall 2027 — Sept vs Oct vs Nov changes weather and pricing. Note: a coastal wedding pushes this toward late October or later (hurricane season peaks in September).
• Full planner vs day-of coordinator vs self-coordinated.
• Guest list draft — spreadsheet built (~/Documents/Code/wedding/guest-list.xlsx); needs the actual names. The by-location split it produces (local / drivable / flying in) is a direct input to the Charlotte-vs-coastal call.